Pulchritude

Amazing..

indiedoodles

Standing alone
facing a raging storm
with tornadoes of hate
sweeping everything
that lit with hope

Standing alone
Your body flamed with courage
even when it rained insults
Your flame still burned with more passion
than ever

Standing alone, scanning the surroundings
all those supportive bodies that were once there
were stripped to their true ignorant nature
by the winds of truth

Standing alone, realizing
that not all were support
but they were just mere puppets
in a show

Now that the curtains are down
and the winds blew away that facade
that harnessed a skeleton of lies
Your world was better without them

Standing alone, knowing yourself
was like walking through a field of roses
The thorns made it a rough journey
but you were seduced by the beauty of those roses
that hover on top of all that thorny evil

Standing alone, in the middle of that rose field
You notice, the roses…

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We Remain Living

The Fickle Heartbeat

lake

Shared by musingsbythebay.

Any type of change has the potential to be uncomfortable and even difficult, but a change in a relationship often triggers a suffering that is universal. We’ve all had romantic relationships that end in heartbreak, friendships that dissipate, loved ones whose lives end while we remain living.

We remain living.

During and after a loss of a relationship, life keeps on moving and sometimes we struggle to keep up. The grief of no longer having the person’s company, knowing that plans that you’d made before the loss will no longer manifest, the reality that someone in whom you found solace in is no longer available to you, these are all factors that you are left to confront.

I woke up several weeks ago to a couple of missed calls from a friend and a text that urged me to call back. When I did call…

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Welcoming… Adulthood?

dand

Hitting adulthood is just like hitting puberty, it’s sudden, it’s messy and it’s supercharged with emotions and thoughts that come creeping up on you by the time you’re soaking up the last twenty-something year of your life…trying to figure out if you’re really ready to be an adult, or if you just want to remain  and live as an extended teenage version of yourself.

I recently turned 29, and boy it has been like another round of hormonal, emotional and psychological changes that make me want to crawl into bed and just…die? Nah- just kidding- I meant take a really long nap.

I’ve had quite an unstable life in my 20’s which seems legit right? It was a struggle finding a career I wanted and liked, it was a struggle to find the right guy , friends and whatnot, and it was a struggle to figure out what I’ll be doing by the time I’m a “grown-up”. Well, I guess I am turning into an adult now, only to realize it’s just another decade of living, yet a completely different phase of living, and here’s how:

1- Trivial things won’t affect you anymore- you washed your car and it rained? Big deal, it still smells nice on the inside.

2- Your poor time management skills that drained you over the years? GONE. You have a nice little routine for your everyday schedule, and sometimes you end up doing absolutely nothing at all, yet feel great about it.

3- You look back at all the crazy things you’ve done and said to family, friends, people, and exes, sober or drunk, and completely laugh about how stupid and childish you were. If it weren’t for those crazy moments, you wouldn’t be who you are today.

4- You develop an ” I don’t really care” attitude for anything that doesn’t sing the right notes to you, be it relationships, jobs, or friendships. It seems it’s easier to walk away from these things now than a few years back, your attachment issues are long gone, and your need for validation from people shrinks to…ZERO.

5- Your body gives up on you by midnight- wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, it’s time to go to bed. Bye bye “over-the-top” partying habits.

6- You can’t have your cake and eat it too. No, seriously. 1 slice of cake = 1 pound gained. What the heck metabolism? Why are you dying on me? Forget about pizza too.

7- You learn to appreciate your parents more, and start cutting them some slack.

8- You forgive yourself, and become friends with yourself.

9- You realize every person you’ve met added some kind of insight to your life, or helped shaped your list of what you want-or not, in people in your life.

10- – You read this and realize you’re not the only one trying to figure out how this adulthood thing works.

Growing up isn’t optional, it’s mandatory. It just happens and you have to deal with it. But it’s fun to keep a little spark of craziness inside of us to remind us that age is just a number, and life is shorter than we once thought.

Share your thoughts with me!

Neurons!

indiedoodles

Those days where your thoughts go wandering
in the deepest darkest corners of your mind,
to excavate those memories, almost decomposed

It’s not you wanting them to do so,
They just have a mind of their own,
They have a plan and a map of your brain

Some days, they just awaken from their routine slumber
and carry that stupid map of your memories
embedded in certain neurons

Those neurons that you so likely wanted
to kill to the point of extinction
They go, they seek and they find them

Your brain, fights the urge, your brain sets obstacles
to keep them away from finding these memories
under superimposed layers of time
Your brain becomes cloudy, it wants to become blurry

These neurons harvest the past of YOU
Your time in a certain time,
They became richer, with what you fed them
even though at that time, they were like…

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