The urge

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I keep wondering lately, is love something we control? Or does love control us?

Do we have power over our hearts? Or are we weakened by a gentle touch, a passionate kiss and a deep gaze into our souls?

Is love confused with familiarity and safety? Or does it build up until there’s no point denying that your heart now beats in harmony with someone else’s?

When you’re mutually terrified, is this a sign that you’re about to enter a wonderful adventure, or are you prone to repeating the mistakes of the past? What is this terror? Why are we scared of being wounded again? Why is pain always directing our decisions the older we get? Why does love equate to being hurt, even in its early blossoming stages?

The scars we carry remind us of them, those lovers we adored, those lovers we hated. Those lovers who showed us the world and then destroyed us.

Fighting the urge to feel is the hardest torture a heart can endure. But a heart that has shattered and healed is fragile..tender.. it’s a newborn heart wondering, wandering in the endless maze of solitude and companionship.

It’s terrifying it isn’t it? The thought of opening up to someone again..sharing a life with someone, fusing together. But maybe, this time, you’ll make it right, you’ll do it better, you’ll understand that even though you’re together, your identities remain separate, your differences are acknowledged yet understood, after all that’s the whole point isn’t it? Being with someone who completes you, not defines you.

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