The beginning of a funny era

It’s confession time.

 

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Someone once mentioned to me that life in the 30’s is different. It’s something else. Like a switch in your head clicks, and you’ve finally thrown away all the mistakes and embarrassing phases of your life, down the drain, along with a whole bunch of people you no longer want around.

Well, my switch clicked, and things have never been the same in my head since. I no longer accept to be in mediocre situations, around mediocre friendships living  a mediocre life. I also developed an ability to make fun of myself and things that bother me, once you find humor in tough situations you’ve already won.

In an effort to become a less dramatic person than I was back in my  20’s, I’m going to be writing more comedy, based on certain situations, people, cultures in my Lebanese life and circle. I am calling the segment, ” Lebanese Perplexions”.

Stay tuned to this space as more funny stuff are coming your way.

 

The urge

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I keep wondering lately, is love something we control? Or does love control us?

Do we have power over our hearts? Or are we weakened by a gentle touch, a passionate kiss and a deep gaze into our souls?

Is love confused with familiarity and safety? Or does it build up until there’s no point denying that your heart now beats in harmony with someone else’s?

When you’re mutually terrified, is this a sign that you’re about to enter a wonderful adventure, or are you prone to repeating the mistakes of the past? What is this terror? Why are we scared of being wounded again? Why is pain always directing our decisions the older we get? Why does love equate to being hurt, even in its early blossoming stages?

The scars we carry remind us of them, those lovers we adored, those lovers we hated. Those lovers who showed us the world and then destroyed us.

Fighting the urge to feel is the hardest torture a heart can endure. But a heart that has shattered and healed is fragile..tender.. it’s a newborn heart wondering, wandering in the endless maze of solitude and companionship.

It’s terrifying it isn’t it? The thought of opening up to someone again..sharing a life with someone, fusing together. But maybe, this time, you’ll make it right, you’ll do it better, you’ll understand that even though you’re together, your identities remain separate, your differences are acknowledged yet understood, after all that’s the whole point isn’t it? Being with someone who completes you, not defines you.

Daddy’s little girl needs a sugar daddy when she “grows up”!

 

 

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I live in a society where we reached a point of no return, when it comes to endless aspects of life.

I’m not the typical Lebanese gold-digging girl who goes out with highest bidder, I’ve been different since I was 2 years old. But as a 28 year old “adult”, I look around and feel like an outsider most of the time. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with them? Who’s right and who’s wrong? Should i consider getting my first shot of botox now just to fit in? Umm-NO!

It’s a blessing to be born in a rich family, not that I know anything about that though. But why do girls grow up and turn into unproductive dependent slackers? Why do you need to be wearing your boobs out when you go out? Will you find prince charming that way? Will you reserve your place in his dirty mind and his fantasies if you look like a bimbo? What happened to natural beauty and educated women wanting to thrive in society on their own and build lives and not a legion of sugar daddies?

I am drawn to the conclusion that spoiled little brats grow up into becoming gold digging women with no interest in contributing to society, except when it comes to plastic surgeons and retail shops.

I don’t have one friend who looks like Maya Diab and for god’s sake if you do, stay away from me. I want to have an intellectual conversation about science, philosophy, politics, and I do NOT want to know how long it took you to get than tan and how well your nose healed after your latest “corrective rhinoplasty”- Yeah right.

Please do give your feedback about what I said, perhaps I’m mistaken.

 

How to lose a girl..in 10 minutes

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The sun is up and “love” (or let’s call it casual courting, shall we?) is back in the air!

Guys are at the gym everyday, girls are getting skinnier and more tanned already, and the hook up Lebanese culture is on its way back, with a vengeance. How did it become like that?

I don’t know who should be held responsible for the emasculation of men and objectification of women, but somewhere in the middle society shifted from “I think I met the man/woman of my dreams” to ” See ya later, I’m going home with this one tonight”.

Guys, we know there are a few of you good ones left out there, but here are some guidelines on how not to repel a possibly mature strong minded woman out of your way and a possibility of a second date with you.

1- Lose the golden chain around your neck: We might like you but we don’t need to put some bling on you. You don’t need to be doing that to yourself either, it is an instant girl repellant, and I mean instant.

2- Don’t brag about your past sexual adventures: Bottom line, we know you’ve been around the block, even more than once, just don’t rub it in our faces because we don’t really care who you’ve boned before. Unless it’s Angelina Jolie, then go ahead and tell us details.

3- Take it easy with your body language:  If it’s a first date and you’re expecting something, go home. There’s something called personal space, have you heard of it? If not, don’t be surprised if you never hear from us again.

4- You’re a 34 year old passionate artist and struggling philosopher but you still live with/off your parents: This sums it up pretty much.

5- You still party like you’re 18: Well. An occasional party or 2 are cool, but if you’re in your 30’s and still think every weekend is an excuse to go over the top with your drinking and what comes with it, Uh-NO.

6- You’re mean to the waiter but nice to everyone else: This says a lot about how you treat others. It’s a big turn off.

7- Eye contact is essential: We know we have a nice rack, just look above our chest when we’re trying to have a decent conversation.

You don’t have to be a douche to impress us, we’re turned on by good manners, chivalry and an intellectual conversation.