Someone once mentioned to me that life in the 30’s is different. It’s something else. Like a switch in your head clicks, and you’ve finally thrown away all the mistakes and embarrassing phases of your life, down the drain, along with a whole bunch of people you no longer want around.
Well, my switch clicked, and things have never been the same in my head since. I no longer accept to be in mediocre situations, around mediocre friendships living a mediocre life. I also developed an ability to make fun of myself and things that bother me, once you find humor in tough situations you’ve already won.
In an effort to become a less dramatic person than I was back in my 20’s, I’m going to be writing more comedy, based on certain situations, people, cultures in my Lebanese life and circle. I am calling the segment, ” Lebanese Perplexions”.
Stay tuned to this space as more funny stuff are coming your way.
I keep wondering lately, is love something we control? Or does love control us?
Do we have power over our hearts? Or are we weakened by a gentle touch, a passionate kiss and a deep gaze into our souls?
Is love confused with familiarity and safety? Or does it build up until there’s no point denying that your heart now beats in harmony with someone else’s?
When you’re mutually terrified, is this a sign that you’re about to enter a wonderful adventure, or are you prone to repeating the mistakes of the past? What is this terror? Why are we scared of being wounded again? Why is pain always directing our decisions the older we get? Why does love equate to being hurt, even in its early blossoming stages?
The scars we carry remind us of them, those lovers we adored, those lovers we hated. Those lovers who showed us the world and then destroyed us.
Fighting the urge to feel is the hardest torture a heart can endure. But a heart that has shattered and healed is fragile..tender.. it’s a newborn heart wondering, wandering in the endless maze of solitude and companionship.
It’s terrifying it isn’t it? The thought of opening up to someone again..sharing a life with someone, fusing together. But maybe, this time, you’ll make it right, you’ll do it better, you’ll understand that even though you’re together, your identities remain separate, your differences are acknowledged yet understood, after all that’s the whole point isn’t it? Being with someone who completes you, not defines you.